As a Personal Trainer Married to Someone Who Hates Going to the Gym, Here Are 9 Ways I Help My Partner Make Healthier Choices

As a personal trainer, I purposefully weave small, impactful habits into my daily routine, supporting my health and subtly inspiring my husband to embrace a more active and nutritious lifestyle.

Through sharing balanced meals, engaging in joint physical activities, and fostering an environment of wellness, I serve as a living example of health, encouraging my partner to join me on a journey towards better health and vitality.

GUESS WHAT? If you are into fitness, and your partner is not, you Can and Should do the same. Here are my 9 secrets that continuously help my husband make healthier choices...

How it all started

Even as a personal trainer, finding someone who shared my obsession with fitness was never a priority in my dating life. I was content being the beacon of health in the relationship, as long as my partner backed my lifestyle choices and was up for joining in on healthy cooking and leisurely walks.

On our first date, when Max learned about my passion for fitness, he surprised me by organizing our joint workout session with a personal trainer (at a 24-hour Fitness, next to my house). It was delightful to see my competitive streak light up when we were going through the weightlifting sets, and even more so to watch Max enjoy himself, despite his rusty weightlifting skills from not working out for years. Back then, he was more into occasional spin classes and playing tennis with his college buddies. So, he was in what he called his "gym off-season" when we met.

Years into our marriage, I've witnessed a remarkable improvement in Max's health and frequently hear him credit my positive impact on his fitness and activity levels.

Honestly, I consider myself fortunate. It's rare to find a partner who's not just supportive but actively embraces a shift towards healthier living, especially when you're the one spearheading these wellness initiatives.

From this unique position, I've gathered invaluable insights into fostering a health-conscious environment at home. Here are ten straightforward daily actions that have encouraged my husband to wholeheartedly embrace a healthier lifestyle alongside me.

1. I do the grocery shopping but always try to incorporate my husband into this activity

My husband hits the jackpot when it comes to grocery shopping because, fortunately, it's an activity both of us genuinely enjoy. Over time, I've come to realize that the secret to maintaining a healthy diet lies in its convenience. By thoughtfully selecting delicious yet nutritious items that align with his preferences (like his favorites: hard-boiled eggs, cottage cheese, and baked chicken), I notice he naturally gravitates towards these healthier options, incorporating them into his meals throughout the day.

He's even mentioned how my habit of choosing healthier snacks has inspired him. Observing me opt for nutritious snacks has encouraged him to rethink his own snack choices. Instead of automatically reaching for a quick bag of chips, he's more likely to consider alternatives like popcorn for its satisfying crunch or a beef jerky stick to pack in some protein. This shift is subtle but significant.

By meticulously organizing our pantry and refrigerator to highlight these healthful choices and consistently adhering to a nutritious eating plan myself, I've managed to nudge him towards making better dietary choices himself. And the beauty of it all? I've done so without ever needing to preach about the benefits of healthy eating. Through actions alone, I've made a lasting impact on his eating habits, proving that leading by example is a powerful method for encouraging positive change.

2. I tell him when I go to the gym

In the same way that you'd naturally inform your partner about small daily plans, like running to the store or settling in to watch a movie, I've found it incredibly effective to also make a habit of sharing my workout intentions. By openly announcing plans to engage in a workout at home, visit the gym, or enjoy a 30-minute run outside (we live next to a bike trail), I've managed to also place these activities on my husband's radar. It's become a positive routine that he's exposed to on a daily basis, reinforcing the idea of regular physical activity.

I always make it a point to announce my workout plans well in advance. This not only keeps him informed but also provides ample time for him to prepare if he chooses to join. Phrases like, “I’m heading down to the gym in 30 minutes,” have become commonplace in our household. What's fascinating is observing the subtle shift in his behavior since we started living together.

Now, upon hearing my workout announcements, he's more inclined to accompany me on these fitness endeavors. There are even times when he independently visits the gym in our apartment building, a habit that seemed to grow naturally from the seeds planted by our shared conversations about staying active.

This practice of sharing has not only kept us both committed to our fitness goals but has also fostered a deeper sense of partnership and mutual support in our journey towards health.

3. I suggest healthier restaurant outings and takeout options

Even on occasions when we indulge in something seemingly decadent like burgers and sweet potato fries, I'm comforted by the knowledge of their quality. The burger isn't just any burger—it's made from grass-fed beef, and it's loaded with an abundance of fresh veggies. The sweet potato fries are a healthier twist on a fast-food favorite, offering a satisfying crunch and sweet flavor without the guilt. This approach to takeout transforms what could be a dietary downfall into an opportunity to enjoy nourishing, flavorful meals that align with our health goals, all the while enjoying the convenience and variety that delivery offers.

On the other hand, the mention of takeout often conjures up images of guilty pleasures—slices of greasy pizza or heaping portions of Chinese takeout, rich in flavor but far from the epitome of health. However, in my perspective, I always try to shift the narrative towards a more wholesome scene. For me, delivery food is synonymous with gourmet, healthy options that spare me the effort of cooking while still delighting my taste buds. Whenever we decide to treat ourselves to delivery, it's almost always from a selection of my favorite healthy eateries. These places offer a menu filled with delicious choices that not only satisfy my dietary preferences but are sure to be a hit with my husband as well.

Even on occasions when we indulge in something seemingly decadent like burgers and sweet potato fries, I'm comforted by the knowledge of their quality. The burger isn't just any burger—it's made from grass-fed beef, and it's loaded with an abundance of fresh veggies. The sweet potato fries are a healthier twist on a fast-food favorite, offering a satisfying crunch and sweet flavor without the guilt. This approach to takeout transforms what could be a dietary downfall into an opportunity to enjoy nourishing, flavorful meals that align with our health goals, all the while enjoying the convenience and variety that delivery offers.

4. I place nutritious snacks on his desk and the coffee table near TV

I take joy in sprinkling little acts of care around my husband's workspace, a gesture that not only brightens his day but subtly nudges him towards healthier living. Before he settles into his daily grind, I ensure there's a refreshing cup of water waiting at his desk or a nutritious snack tucked beside his briefcase as he prepares for a work journey. I delight in crafting a vibrant green juice, served with an elegant gold straw to catch his eye and tempt his taste buds. Whenever I whip up wholesome treats like egg muffins or homemade protein bars, I'm eager to share a taste, delivering a sample directly to his office.

These thoughtful touches, seemingly minor, collectively foster an environment that encourages him to lean into healthier choices naturally, sidestepping any hint of being overbearing.

Extending this healthful influence beyond the confines of his office, I also curate a selection of healthy snacks on a coffee table near the TV. This strategic placement not only complements our cozy evenings with convenience but also replaces the temptation of less nutritious munchies during our screen time. From crunchy vegetable chips to mixed nuts and dried fruits, this accessible array invites us both to indulge in snacking without straying from our wellness goals.

This subtle strategy serves as another gentle reminder that choosing well can be both easy and enjoyable, seamlessly integrating into every aspect of our daily routines.

5. I meal prep, not just for myself but for him... and the kids

In the tapestry of nurturing a health-conscious environment within our home, meal prepping stands out as a cornerstone habit, especially when considering my husband's journey towards embracing a healthier lifestyle. Unlike my professional role, where I adopt a structured approach with clients, guiding my husband's dietary habits unfolds more organically, eschewing the dynamics of a trainer-client relationship. Instead, I engage in meal prepping as an act of care and partnership, understanding its profound impact not only on our health but also on our relationship.

Meal prepping for us transcends mere nutritional planning; it's about creating opportunities for making healthier choices effortlessly accessible. By dedicating time each week to prepare balanced meals, I lay down a path for us to follow, one that leads to better eating habits without the need for persuasion or oversight. This practice is particularly beneficial for my husband, who, like many, might find the convenience of less nutritious options tempting after a long day. Having wholesome meals readily available diminishes this temptation, aligning our daily routines with our health goals.

Furthermore, meal prepping embodies the principle of leading by example, a theme recurrent in our journey. It demonstrates the feasibility and the joy of eating well, showcasing that healthful living is not only about the foods we avoid but also about the delicious, nourishing foods we embrace. This hands-on approach allows my husband to witness the practical side of healthy eating, from the thoughtful selection of ingredients to the creativity involved in preparing them. It's a shared experience that invites him to participate, explore, and eventually, find his own rhythm in making healthful choices.

In essence, meal prepping is not just a task—it's a gesture of love and a bridge toward a shared lifestyle of wellness. It's a silent conversation about the value we place on our health and the lengths we're willing to go to protect and nurture it. Through this practice, we not only ensure that our bodies are well-fed but also that our commitment to each other's well-being is steadfast and tangible.

6. I propose date ideas that align with his hobbies and passions, ensuring they're both engaging and active

Every time I dream up our vacation time and travels, beyond the essential beach or poolside relaxation, I have two specific wishes: access to workout classes or a well-equipped gym, and the availability of healthy dining options. Our experiences often felt tailor-made, with some classes so intimate that it felt like we had stumbled upon our own private training sessions, adding a special touch to our holiday workouts. Back in the rhythm of everyday life, we make it a point to blend activity with leisure before our evening unwind. Whether it's a spirited game of tennis or a leisurely stroll to a nearby eatery, these moments enrich our daily routine.

Traveling together opens up even more avenues for adventure. I always scout out opportunities for us to cycle or walk to our destinations, whether we're in search of morning coffee or a bout of shopping. Opting for these modes of transport over driving or using ride-sharing services not only embeds a sense of exploration and adventure into our journey but also deepens our connection to the outdoors and the vibrant life of a new city. This approach transforms simple decisions into memorable explorations, making every outing an opportunity to discover, engage, and enjoy the natural and cultural landscapes around us. Who could resist the charm of immersing themselves in nature and the excitement of navigating the streets of an unfamiliar city?

7. I help plan our holidays to ensure we have lots of fun but support a healthy lifestyle

When it comes to planning our holidays, I take the helm with enthusiasm, weaving together itineraries that promise both immense fun and adherence to our healthy lifestyle. It's a balancing act, ensuring that while we step into the liberating realm of vacation, we don't veer too far from the wellness path we've carefully tread at home.

To strike this equilibrium, I prioritize destinations that offer both natural beauty for exploration and access to wholesome culinary experiences. This way, adventure and nutrition go hand in hand, whether we're hiking through breathtaking landscapes or savoring local, farm-to-table delicacies.

Moreover, I always help incorporate activities that get us moving and laughing together, from bike rides along scenic routes to morning yoga on the beach, turning exercise into memorable moments. Yet, I also embrace the spirit of holiday indulgence, allowing for those occasional treats that make vacations special, ensuring they're enjoyed without guilt. This mindful planning ensures our holidays are not just a break from routine but a celebration of living fully, where fun and health dance together seamlessly, leaving us rejuvenated and aligned with our wellness goals.

8. I take my personal trainer hat off and refrain from treating him as if he were one of my clients

Everyone who's been nudged towards adopting a new habit understands that a preachy or authoritative tone—especially when it comes to unsolicited advice—often falls flat. Having spent years being a personal trainer, coaching individuals towards healthier, more active lifestyles, I've learned the importance of offering guidance only when it's sought.

This principle is particularly pertinent if you find yourself as the health-conscious half of your partnership. It's crucial to remember that everyone progresses at their own rhythm. Your partner might take a bit longer to feel inspired to embrace healthier eating habits or to start exercising—and that's perfectly fine!

Observing your commitment to healthful living and witnessing the positive outcomes of such choices can serve as a gentle encouragement for them to participate. It might seem a bit cliché, but embodying the change you wish to see genuinely can inspire those around you to consider their own habits. Leading by example isn't just about setting a standard; it's about demonstrating the tangible benefits of a healthy lifestyle, making it a compelling option for your partner to eventually explore.

9. I am consistent

As a personal trainer, I naturally integrate small, meaningful habits into our daily life, creating a supportive backdrop for my husband and our family's health and wellness journey. By sharing delicious, balanced meals, engaging in fun physical activities together, and cultivating a wellness-focused environment, I lead by example, gently encouraging my partner to embrace a more active and nutritious lifestyle alongside me.

Interestingly, even though my career revolves around fitness, having a partner who shared this intense passion for fitness was never a criterion in my dating life. I've always believed in being the beacon of health in our relationship, as long as my partner supported my lifestyle choices and was willing to join me in activities like healthy cooking and enjoying nature walks.

On our first date, when Max discovered my love for fitness, he surprised me by arranging a joint workout session for our next date. It was a moment of joy to share my competitive spirit during our workout and to see Max genuinely enjoy the session, despite his hiatus from regular exercise. This experience marked the beginning of our shared fitness journey, a journey that has seen Max's health and fitness levels improve significantly over the years, something he often attributes to my influence.

Feeling fortunate is an understatement. It's rare to find a partner who is not just supportive but actively engages in adopting a healthier lifestyle, especially when you're the catalyst for these changes. From this unique vantage point, I've learned valuable lessons on promoting a health-conscious atmosphere at home. Here are some strategies that have worked wonders in encouraging my husband to fully embrace a healthier lifestyle:

Grocery Shopping Together: Sharing the grocery shopping task has become a cherished activity, offering us both a chance to explore and choose nutritious ingredients that cater to our taste preferences. This habit not only makes healthy eating more convenient but also encourages my husband to naturally select healthier meal options.

Healthy Snacking: By placing nutritious snacks strategically around his workspace and our living area, I've subtly encouraged healthier eating habits. Simple changes like swapping chips for popcorn or beef jerky have shifted our snack preferences towards healthier options without feeling restrictive.

Meal Prepping: Investing time in meal prepping not only ensures we have healthy meals ready but also serves as a shared activity that reinforces our commitment to eating well. This practice has been key in making nutritious eating an effortless part of our daily routine.

Active Outings: Proposing date ideas and family activities that are both fun and aligned with our health goals has become a staple in our relationship. Whether it's a bike ride, a hike, or a tennis match, these activities offer us a chance to bond while staying active.

Holiday Planning: Even our holidays are planned with a healthy twist, ensuring we can enjoy our time together without straying too far from our wellness path. Finding destinations that offer both adventure and healthy dining options has allowed us to maintain our lifestyle while exploring new cultures and cuisines.

In essence, these strategies have not only fostered a healthier lifestyle for my husband but have also brought our family closer, creating a shared journey towards wellness. Leading by example has proven to be the most effective way to inspire change, demonstrating that a commitment to health and fitness can be both fulfilling and enjoyable.